Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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