You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
