like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize