We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
