I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
