these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
