he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
