if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major