Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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