"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
