I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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