Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
