She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
