I hope mine doesn't look like that
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
