I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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