Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
