3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
