He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
