what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
