we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
