We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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