did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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