Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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