She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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