last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
