i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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