We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
