Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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