we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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