I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
