K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
