i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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