And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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