Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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