There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
