You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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