OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
