Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
