I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
