I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
