well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
