girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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