why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize