This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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