i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
