Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
