I wish I could teleport
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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