Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
