Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
