I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize