he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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