look no pants
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
