It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
