I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
