I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
