Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
