Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
