you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
