You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
