your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
