You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
