She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
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